Heute möcht ich sterben gehn,
wer will mich denn schon leben sehn.
Mein Herz das hört zu schlagen auf,
so lang hab ich gewartet drauf.

My friends:

Listening to:Greenday : "wake me up when september ends"
Reading: Tomb Raider I
Watching: "o.c. california"

21th July 2005

Wow I'm listening currently to Greenday's newest song :"wake me up when sebtember end's".
It's such a emotive song, full of metaphors and wonderfull meanings and symbols.
For me it's more like a peom then "just a song". Coupled with this absolutly beautiful voice of Billy Joe Armstrong it' such a sad song.
It's makes me think of all those cruel things human beings do.
War. War and once more War.
Millions of dollars and tons of ressources are wasted for arms industry.
What is the most important thing for a country? Their military power and defence. It's so sad.
I learned it in my basic military service time. We learned how to handle weapons and kill people. We've seen dozens of pictures with dead people killed in war. We've seen als those human creativity in creating of weapons, guns ,granades, tanks and bombs.
This was also the first time in my life when i had the opportunity to fire a gun.
It was a scary but memorable moment. A machine gun has the power to kill 1700 people in a minute. Is'nt this ridiculous?
Humans invent alsways more powerfull things to kill.....
We see it currently in the iraq. Therefore we had afghanistan. Therefore kosovo. Therefore vietnam..... will it never stop?

But on the other side I see something beautifull in this song. It show that everything is evanescent. And that love can rule.
I guess last is the thing everybody should care for.

Or not?

My friends:

Clubs im in:

Listening to: Arash's new album
Reading: Tomb Raider I
Watching: "Cruel intensions 2 / o.c. california"

15th July 2005
Yesterday i saw the first time in my life a falling star.
This moment was magical!

12th June 2005
bye. i'm leaving.
for 3 days i'm going to prague. my favorite city.
why?

depressions and to much thougts 'bout life.

I have to leave this place ,thats full of memories just for a short while to find back to myself.

i hope i can take alot of pictures there.
wish me the best.

bye.

28th Mayl 2005
Yeah! i was on destiny concert again , and i bougth a tshirt again
And i hat 2 times the opportunity to sing (the singer gave me twice his micro). wheeeeeeeeeee i'm sooooo happy, it was the best concert ever !

27th May 2005
Wheeee! i got a practica mtl3 body from my dad. it was a gift from his friend
wheee, now i have to buy an objective from ebay (maybe a macro one)


3th April 2005
WOW! I just saw "he ring" and i'm very,very scared now !

18th February 2005
Yeah, i've been yesterday on Potsdam to the wonderful metalcore band Destiny and i bought a shirt and the whole gig cost only 5 bucks

16th January 2005
Fuck i'm pissed off.
Fuck this world.

4th January 2005

Hello People
This is also the nu year....
What do i want to become/achieve?

First i want to make again more sport, get more weight and i want to get my losed spirituality back.
This means more training, more eating , more meditation.

I hope i get that!

My friends:

Clubs im in:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

me is 20 now

gotta lcd monitor for my pc and an armani watch

wheeeeeeeee!

tonight i gotta have a big party !!!!!!!!

Hey folks!

What happened in the last weeks?
First I have to say, that i had to join the army .
That means 6 hours sleep per day, no fun, except on the weekends.
Fuck that.

Yesterday I was to tired to write more into this journal, so i'll do it now.

It's very hard there, cuz I have to serve all the time a lot of power, we do much sport, and the drill is hard to.

But why did i join into the army?
I wanted to become a police man , like the FBI, so i had to do this step.

But now my point of view has changed.

I don't now what job is the right one for me..... I'll just want to leave germany for about one year. Maybe as au-pair, maybe as worker.....i don't know

Best wishes to all of you!